Thank you for this, Kaitlyn. Reading this felt like 'a reclaiming, of being our ‘whole-selves’…maybe even being a 'human being' rather than trying to be superhuman!
Wholeheartedly embracing all the dimensions of our emotions seems to be out of fashion (not that it was ever in fashion). Add to the mix different cultural traits, and this becomes a minefield of fragile eggshells of emotions to be avoided! So, thanks for framing the discussion as an invitation to talk more about our insecurities and recognise our whole selves.
Since resigning from work to care for my parents, I’ve experienced a wider amplitude, intensity and impact of emotions than I ever did before (despite some big transitions etc), and it feels like I’ve LIVED more, within the space created by these big pendulum swings.
I’ve also encountered some attitudes where people expect me to be unhappy, envious of others and confined. Some days are like that, but others are acute, simple joy, deep satisfaction, and love. We rant and rave on carer forums (anonymously); there's dark humour and dad jokes. There's no judgment of feeling ..whatever you like because there’s an unspoken acceptance of this full amplitude. Sometimes, I live in tiny moments, and in others, I live big with friends. Different insecurities, confidence and aspects of life. Wholehearted.
You’ve struck some deep resonance with me, I hope others too. Thank you!
This was a great read Kaitlyn. I'm afraid to claim how selfish I can be. And when I say that I'm not looking for the usual, "of course not you are so giving" platitudes I hear back from well meaning folk. I mean I can be really selfish. I do take the bigger slice of pie and it takes work for me to consider if that's fair. I think this edge has served me in motherhood though, where the whole narrative is one of utter selflessness. Hmmm, I can feel a post coming on about this. Thanks!
You're such a great writer, Kaitlyn. I can see the therapist office, hear the client's voice and hear Esther P's voice. You writing makes me nod with acknowledgement (for the role of the therapist/coach) and for the roles of the humans. You show me glimpses of your Human Design chart. And you made me laugh out loud at one point. You're really really good at this. Please keep going.
Killing it over here! I love how you weave personal stories and therapy concepts. I can imagine clients feel that first touch of safety when you call out the elephant in the room - that you’re nervous, too.
Check out the song by Lawrence, I’m confident that I’m insecure.” So fun!
I described myself on one of my recent podcast episodes as a “recovering perfectionist” so this article really hits home for me. Something about not being able to express weakness, vulnerability, or limits, etc etc etc.
The recovery part though helped me open up to my supervisor a month or so ago and let them know that I was at full capacity and needed to hold off on taking on any more. I didn’t do it in the “most confident way” as I floundered, stalled, and tried to preserve myself from looking incapable. BUT at the end of the day, I did do it and was ultimately appreciated for doing so.
On the therapist side of things - I have had to tell more than one client that I don’t think I have the expertise or experience help them and while that has never been easy, it provides me comfort knowing it was the right thing to do.
I think maybe you read my mind? Just a few minutes ago, I published on a letter about learning to see my responsible, organized, dependable Virgo energy as a superpower rather than a detriment. Then I read this. 🧡
Wonderful piece Kaitlyn! Learning to admit my fears, doubt and insecurities has blessed me tremendously. One of the unforeseen benefits was the way vulnerability led to more authentic, life giving connections with others.
I can tell you’re a great therapist because I have a great one. I remember the dance we first did when we met 3 years ago. For a month it was like, so why should I trust you with my mental health. It’s so great having a person. I wish I could gift you to my brother. The confidence part resonated with me a lot. Sometimes we forget that other people can’t read our minds and that we need to say what we feel and need. I struggle with owning that my needs are valid. When I voice them it feels uncomfortable even when they are fulfilled. Still navigating this but just sharing. Anyway great read.
Reading your work also makes me feel good because the sad truth all mental health care ain’t equal. It’s sad.
Thank you for this, Kaitlyn. Reading this felt like 'a reclaiming, of being our ‘whole-selves’…maybe even being a 'human being' rather than trying to be superhuman!
Wholeheartedly embracing all the dimensions of our emotions seems to be out of fashion (not that it was ever in fashion). Add to the mix different cultural traits, and this becomes a minefield of fragile eggshells of emotions to be avoided! So, thanks for framing the discussion as an invitation to talk more about our insecurities and recognise our whole selves.
Since resigning from work to care for my parents, I’ve experienced a wider amplitude, intensity and impact of emotions than I ever did before (despite some big transitions etc), and it feels like I’ve LIVED more, within the space created by these big pendulum swings.
I’ve also encountered some attitudes where people expect me to be unhappy, envious of others and confined. Some days are like that, but others are acute, simple joy, deep satisfaction, and love. We rant and rave on carer forums (anonymously); there's dark humour and dad jokes. There's no judgment of feeling ..whatever you like because there’s an unspoken acceptance of this full amplitude. Sometimes, I live in tiny moments, and in others, I live big with friends. Different insecurities, confidence and aspects of life. Wholehearted.
You’ve struck some deep resonance with me, I hope others too. Thank you!
This was a great read Kaitlyn. I'm afraid to claim how selfish I can be. And when I say that I'm not looking for the usual, "of course not you are so giving" platitudes I hear back from well meaning folk. I mean I can be really selfish. I do take the bigger slice of pie and it takes work for me to consider if that's fair. I think this edge has served me in motherhood though, where the whole narrative is one of utter selflessness. Hmmm, I can feel a post coming on about this. Thanks!
You're such a great writer, Kaitlyn. I can see the therapist office, hear the client's voice and hear Esther P's voice. You writing makes me nod with acknowledgement (for the role of the therapist/coach) and for the roles of the humans. You show me glimpses of your Human Design chart. And you made me laugh out loud at one point. You're really really good at this. Please keep going.
Killing it over here! I love how you weave personal stories and therapy concepts. I can imagine clients feel that first touch of safety when you call out the elephant in the room - that you’re nervous, too.
Check out the song by Lawrence, I’m confident that I’m insecure.” So fun!
I love how you reframed this! It takes confidence to say I’m scared, to say that I feel not confident at all and super vulnerable. Yes to this!
I described myself on one of my recent podcast episodes as a “recovering perfectionist” so this article really hits home for me. Something about not being able to express weakness, vulnerability, or limits, etc etc etc.
The recovery part though helped me open up to my supervisor a month or so ago and let them know that I was at full capacity and needed to hold off on taking on any more. I didn’t do it in the “most confident way” as I floundered, stalled, and tried to preserve myself from looking incapable. BUT at the end of the day, I did do it and was ultimately appreciated for doing so.
On the therapist side of things - I have had to tell more than one client that I don’t think I have the expertise or experience help them and while that has never been easy, it provides me comfort knowing it was the right thing to do.
I think maybe you read my mind? Just a few minutes ago, I published on a letter about learning to see my responsible, organized, dependable Virgo energy as a superpower rather than a detriment. Then I read this. 🧡
Wonderful piece Kaitlyn! Learning to admit my fears, doubt and insecurities has blessed me tremendously. One of the unforeseen benefits was the way vulnerability led to more authentic, life giving connections with others.
I can tell you’re a great therapist because I have a great one. I remember the dance we first did when we met 3 years ago. For a month it was like, so why should I trust you with my mental health. It’s so great having a person. I wish I could gift you to my brother. The confidence part resonated with me a lot. Sometimes we forget that other people can’t read our minds and that we need to say what we feel and need. I struggle with owning that my needs are valid. When I voice them it feels uncomfortable even when they are fulfilled. Still navigating this but just sharing. Anyway great read.
Reading your work also makes me feel good because the sad truth all mental health care ain’t equal. It’s sad.